Crazy Truth or Dare
by Loric11
Summary: The war is over. And everyone is bored. Orik suggests a game of Truth or Dare, with MEAD! Things get just weensy bit out of hand.
1. Chapter 1

Crazy Truth or Dare

Loric11

The war was over, and Eragon Kingkiller was bored. "Ever since the war has been over, Kingkiller has been here just drinking." The bartender muttered to another customer.

"It's a wonder he hasn't drunk himself to oblivion yet." The customer replied just a _bit _too loudly.

"Who hasn't drunk himself to oblivion yet," Arya said as she slumped down into the seat next to Eragon.

"Me apparently," Eragon says.

"Oh, that really is a wonder, Eragon" Eragon stared daggers at her over his tankard, as he downed it. "I'm just stating facts _Kingkiller_"

"What do you want _Dragonkiller_," He said as motioned to the bartender to refill his tankard.

"Eragon, I'm worried about you," The bartender walked over and refilled Eragon's tankard.

"There's a first," Eragon snorted as he took another hit from his tankard. Arya put her hand on his and looked him in the eye. Eragon stared at her as she said "We need something to take you mind off the mead."

"Like what, no that the war is over I have no purpose."

"That's not true Eragon." Her voice was starting to rise. _Oh great here comes another fight, why can't anything ever be simple with Arya? _Eragon wondered. "Eragon, you do have a purpose, to Orik, to Nasuada, to Roran, Katrina and their daughter, to the people that care about you. To _me_." Eragon stared at her dumbfounded. "Arya, how much have you had to drink tonight?" Arya started to blush and stumble on her words, something she almost never did. Except when she was lying. "None, why would you think that Eragon." Before he could respond there was commotion over in the corner of the pub. "No, you cannot have a refill your Highness, you Kingkiller and that elf lady are running my supply's dry!" The bartender picked up a red-faced dwarf who was in absolute rage. "Before you post a sign that says unlimited refills, you should look up the definition of _Unlimited_." The bartender started to foam at the mouth. He looked REALLY angry. He picked up the dwarf by the hem of his tunic and literally kicked the poor dwarf out of the pub. The glass in the window shattered and the people in the pub screamed. The bartender gave a look to Eragon and Arya that quite plain. _If you don't leave I'll make you leave_. The bartender was a big guy. Somebody that even Arya would have second thoughts about fighting, while SOBER. As you can guess they were tripping over themselves to get out of there.

When they got outside, they heard a lot of laughing. They looked around and saw 3 dragons and 5 people laughing. Well Eragon could have that no could he. He stormed over and was about punch one of them in the face before he realized who it was. He tried to slow his fist down, but it was too late. He punched the king square in the face. "I'll let that pass seeing how you are drunk and hopefully didn't realize who you were punching. Roran stared icily at his cousin while rubbing his face. Eragon grinned sheepishly. "Sorry?" Roran just stared, and then laughed.

"Ah, who am I kidding I can't stay mad at my little cousin!" Everyone laughed and Eragon was redder than Thorn.

"Eragon, my lad if you be' blushing that much right now, you'll be dead by the first dare, in this game we be playn' soon."

"Who said that," Everyone said at once, looking around a little scared. Some a little more than scared. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHH" A high pitched screech that came from well none other than the mighty Kingkiller. Everyone laughed, again. Eragon stopped; he was even redder than before if that was even possible. "Fine that may have been a little over the top."

"A little, lad that was WAY over the top," the mysterious voice rang through the streets again. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Roran rolled his eyes. "Really Eragon, once was funny, but twice that's just cowardly,"

"It's not me cuz," Eragon said while looking at Roran, Roran blinked in surprise.

"If it's not you then who is it?" Roran said while looking completely bamboozled.

"Arya," Eragon said while fiddling with a loose piece of skin on his thumb, completely unconcerned by what was happening. Arya stooped and turned even redder than Eragon had. "If any of you say anything about what happened, you will…,"

"Regret it, we know the whole spiel Arya," Orik said. Eragon stared at his brother.

"Where did you come from?" Eragon asked.

"You know that dwarf the bartender kicked out?"

"Yeah,"

"Well that was me," Orik said while turning a red as hot as the fires of hell. "Oh and the mysterious voice you and your girlfriend screamed about was me as well."

"He's not my boyfriend Orik," Arya said while blushing a red as hot as the sun.

"Ah why not, you two would make such a cute couple," Nasuada said, before slapping herself mentally. She had just embarrassed the two most powerful people in Alagesia. Meanwhile said powerful female glared at Nasuada, while Eragon picked at his thumb again.

"Orik, what did you mean by playing a game that would make Eragon blush even more," Murtagh said while trying to break up the tension that had appeared. Eragon glared at his other brother while the dwarf brightened up.

"Ah yes that game would be called truth or dare, if you be wantn' to play,"

"Yes,"

"Yes,"

"Yes,"

"Yes,"

"Yes,"

"No,"

"No,"

"_Yes_,"

"_Yes_,"

"_Explain the game already dwarf_,"

"Alright that would be seven yesses, two no's, and one command, that's enough for me I'll explain while the rules,"

Eragon and Arya exchanged panicked looks, they had said no.

"The rules are simple, one person asks someone 'Truth or Dare,' if the person asked says 'Truth' they have answer a question in the Ancient Language its better if it's embarrassing. If the person refuses to answer the question they must take off a piece of clothing. If the person says 'Dare' they must complete a task, again its better if it's funny or embarrassing , if they refuse to do the task they must remove a piece of clothing,"

"Sounds like fun, what do we need to play," Katrina asked.

"Oh not much my lady, a table and some mead,"

"Done and Done, we have a spare table in the castle and plenty of mead,"

"Why is it always mead," Arya groaned as the party trooped off to the castle.

**AN: Before I post the next chapter I would like some suggestions as to some dares let's say 3, if there is none in one week however I will post the next chapter with some ideas of my own.**


	2. Chapter 2

Crazy Truth or Dare

Loric11

The party continued to walk, as if Arya hadn't said anything that is except Orik. "Well, my lady the answer is quite simple, simply put it's because mead is GREAT!" Arya rolled her eyes at Orik, as Eragon slowed down, he looked at Arya and Orik and said "Arya, is my half-brother annoying you,"

"Slightly, yes" Arya responded with an evil glint in her eye, she knew what Eragon would do. Meanwhile said rider looked at the dwarf. "Orik, do you remember how you were removed from the bar," Said dwarf suddenly looked scared as he looked between the two riders. He then ran off to torment someone else. Eragon and Arya looked each other, then where the dwarf had ran off, and then at each other again. Laughter then rang threw the hills, as the two riders laughed at well everything. They _were _drunk after all. _Little one, are you going to stand there laughing with your girlfriend all day, or you going to come to the castle. _Eragon instantly stopped laughing, as did Arya, apparently she heard what Saphira said, either that or Firnen said something similar. She looked at Eragon and said "Race you to the castle,"

"Oh you are so going to lose, my lady"

"We shall see Kingkiller," Arya said as she sped off at speeds only an elf could reach.

"Damn it, she's fast," Eragon said as he to sped off into the distance

Orik was pacing. He was anxious to get on with the game, and he was missing two victims, I mean players. Orik looked at the sky and said "We know what you mean, narrator," Everyone looked at the dwarf king like he was crazy. A lightning bolt struck the ground not 10 feet from the dwarf. He looked at the sky again "I apologize, oh mighty Loric11, do not kill me" Everyone stepped a little further from the dwarf king. He looked at them and started to foam at the mouth "I'm not crazy," he said manically. Just then Eragon ran into the square looked over his shoulder, and then promptly slammed into a wall. Everyone got a wild look in their eyes, and then Arya ran into the square as well, however because SHE did not look over her shoulder, SHE did not slam into a wall. The elf started to jump up and down and clap her hands like a little girl. "I beat Eragon" she repeated while squealing. I t was around the 100th time that she said that, that said rider groaned. Arya stopped and looked down, and gasped. She HADN'T beat Eragon after all, she started to berate herself. She needed to run every day, and – "Arya aren't you concerned about your boyfriend, he DID just slam into a wall pretty hard after all,"

"He WHAT!" Arya screeched and flung herself at Eragon. She started to run a full-out medical exam while instead of berating herself, she berated everyone else. "How could you not tell me, he could be dead by now and it would be your fault!" Eragon groaned again. He opened his eyes, and then saw Arya put her lips on his, Eragon thought to himself _Yes it's finally happening! _Arya thought _I must revive him, he cannot die, and he has an important press conference tomorrow_. Eragon started to kiss Arya while Arya thought she was giving him CPR. After about 1 minute of this, Arya realized what was happening and tried to remove her lips from Eragon's, and found that she couldn't, mainly because Eragon's arm was around her back. Arya pushed back harder, and flew backwards and landed on her bum. She stood up and marched over to Eragon and slapped him. "Eragon why did you kiss me!"

"Arya, I woke up to you kissing me," Eragon said with hurt in his eye, probably from the slap.

"I was giving you CPR!" Arya said while blushing once more.

"Oh" Eragon started to blush as well. Meanwhile the crazy dwarf king looked over at the two lovebirds and said something REALLY stupid. "If you two lovebirds are quite finished, can we get on with the game?" Arya got fiery glint in her eyes, marched over to Orik. Crouched down looked him in the eye and said "Orik we are NOT lovebirds" She stood up, picked up the royal pain in the ass, smashed him into a sphere and drop kicked him over the castle wall. She turned around to find square deserted. "Retards," she muttered and walked into the castle grounds.

Arya walked into the castle grounds, and upon seeing no one, she walked into the castle itself. When she entered she found the nearest servant but before she could ask him anything, he fainted at the sight of the legendary Dragonkiller. She muttered something incorrigible under her breath, and went off to find another servant.

**100 Servants Later**

"You there" Arya said as she ran over to a cook. The cook started to faint but Arya yelled "Oh no you're not fainting," The cook lost that sleepy look of all people about to faint and asked "Yes, you require my services Dragonkiller"

"Yes, where are the king and his party"

"Ah yes, they told me you would be arriving shortly,"

"How long ago did they say that?"

"About an hour ago"

"Go figure," Arya muttered under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, please lead me to them,"

"Of course Dragonkiller," The cook led Arya through a series of twist and turns until they arrived at a pair of giant doors. "Right through here?"

"No, that's the kings' bedroom"

"Then where's the entrance"

"Stand right over on that blue tile," Arya did so, but her body language expressed that she was VERY confused. "What is this about cook?"

"Have fun, my lady," The cook said as she pulled a lever that appeared out of nowhere. Nothing happened. Arya raised her eyebrows. "Oh silly me," the cook said "That was the wrong lever," Once again the cook pulled a lever that appeared to have come out of nowhere. This time something happened. The blue tile that Arya had been standing on disappeared. Arya fell screaming bloody murder at the cook. The cook winced and pulled the lever again, and the tile came back. A screen appeared out of nowhere, with the king's face. "Is she on her way cook?"

"Yes, she fell not one moment ago,"

"Ah yes, I can hear her now, have a good day cook,"

"I will my lord," The screen disappeared, and the cook sighed and walked off. "Why did I ever agree to this job,"

**AN: I realize that there were no dares or even truths in this chapter; I guess I got carried away. But because of this I'm only to ask for one review before I post the next chapter.**


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